I don't want just anyone. I want you.
You stay away from her, Rockford.
Are you gonna deny that you're her lover?
(GUN FIRING)
And I bought me the sexiest black baby-doll nightie I could find.
You all know what happened. It's in the book.
Get me the police.
Fine. See if you can arrange for adjoining cells.
Just tell me, what's that supposed to mean?
Murder one.
(SCREAMING)
(PHONE RINGING)
ROCKFORD ON ANSWERING MACHINE.. This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS)
(DOG WHINING)
Jim, this is Donna. Boy, we've really been swamped today. Sit.
We should be closing about... Sit!
I'll meet you at... Oh, get down!
ANN LOUISE.. Later, over our coffee and blueberry pie,
I confessed what I had done
and I asked his forgiveness.
Was he angry?
No.
Could he possibly be angry?
No.
He just took me out to the garage, sat beside me,
and patiently gave me a little refresher course
in handling that big car.
We shared another experience
and we were brought closer together because of it.
Of course, people are going to tell you
that there is no magic formula.
But there is and it's here.
It changed my life and it saved my marriage.
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
(CHUCKLING)
Now, are there any questions?
WOMAN: Um, I have a friend and she says that you say that women are inferior.
Uh-huh.
Have you read my book?
Then I suggest you read it again.
And have your friend read it.
Because you won't find the word ''inferior''
on any of its 325 pages.
But here, on the first page,
it says, ''Woman is subject to man.''
Yes.
Subject to, but not inferior to.
And once you accept that,
once you welcome it,
you fulfill yourself as a woman,
you fulfill your husband,
you fulfill your destiny.
Believe me, my dear, this isn't some empty theory.
Before I accepted my womanhood,
I was dissatisfied and didn't know why.
I was competitive, a nag.
I even considered going to see a psychiatrist.
That's how bad things had gotten in my marriage.
But today, Bud and I are happier than we ever dreamed was possible.
Yes, dear, was there something else?
I like your book, Ann Louise.
I really do.
But, um...
That business about
dressing up
for when your husband comes home?
Have you tried it?
I've thought about it, but...
But you'd feel silly, hmm?
Well, you'll change your mind
once you see the reception you get.
Am I right?
I'll never forget the day it finally occurred to me
that Bud might be tired of coming home
to a wife with her hair slicked back in a rubber band
and wearing some shapeless old house dress.
So I went out
and I bought me the sexiest black baby-doll nightie I could find.
I spent an hour on my hair and make-up.
And when Bud walked in the door that night...
Well, you all know what happened.
It's in the book.
What's wrong with being saucy and provocative,
even a little naughty? Hmm?
Let your husband know
you find him handsome and desirable.
He won't feel silly.
He's gonna love you for it.
Oh, listen to me.
True happiness lies in femininity, not feminism.
Now, you all know the abuse I've endured.
Those militant ladies with their loud cries
for rights and equality.
You know how they've scorned me
and ridiculed me.
Tried to kill you?
They're very aggressive, you know.
You can't imagine the amount of jealousy
and resentment my book has stirred up.
And most of them know karate.
Were you aware of that?
You don't honestly think the feminist movement
is into terrorist activities, do you?
They're trained revolutionaries
and they want me silenced.
Look, Mrs. Clement...
Oh, no. Ann Louise.
You know, when I was looking through
the classified directory and saw your picture,
I just knew you were the man for the job.
You have such a good face.
A strong face.
If someone has made an attempt on your life...
Three attempts, in the past couple of weeks,
and all of them designed to look like accidents.
Then you should go to the police.
Well, I have.
They won't do anything.
They actually think this is some sort of publicity stunt.
My publisher can't keep up with the demand for my book.
Publicity is the last thing I need.
Under the circumstances, Mrs. Clement,
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.
Well, you can protect me.
I'm not a bodyguard. I'm an investigator.
Now, if you'd like me to recommend someone else...
No. I don't want just anyone, I want you.
Oh, look, if it's a question of money...
It isn't. I'm sorry.
(SIGHS) Well, thank you at least for listening to me.
But I'm not going to let them stop me.
My work is important to too many people.
I'm sure.
Do you have a parking ticket?
Yes. It's the blue Mercedes.
The blue Mercedes and the tan Firebird.
You sure you wouldn't like me to recommend somebody else?
Have you discussed this with your husband?
Yes, but you know how husbands are.
Not really, no.
Well, if Bud were to accept what's been happening to me,
he'd be worried sick, so...
He's managed to convince himself that I've had
a series of unrelated, and unfortunate near-accidents.
Now, maybe the best thing for me to do
is try and convince myself he's right.
(GUN FlRES)
BECKER: Are you sure it wasn't a backfire?
ROCKFORD: It was a shot.
The doorman said it was a backfire.
Oh, he's such an expert. He's heard so many gunshots.
He's heard a lot of backfires.
What does it take to get you guys moving, anyway?
Mrs. Clement has reported three attempts on her life.
Now this is number four, and I'm a witness.
We had a team go over that hotel entrance
inch by inch. Nothing.
Did you see who pulled the trigger?
Well no, but... Any idea who it could have been?
Or are we just supposed to question people at random?
Sergeant, I have an idea. Mrs. Clement.
It must have been somebody with the women's movement.
That's just a guess on her part.
Well, who else could it be?
Now take, for example, what happened with my car.
Somebody tampered with those brakes.
What makes you think it was a woman?
Because it's exactly the sort of thing they would do.
Kill me, and prove their mechanical genius at the same time.
Well, I think I'm going to need a little more than that
to justify an investigation.
Somebody took a shot at her, Dennis.
We didn't find a slug.
Look, I'll make a deal with you.
You come up with something a little bit more solid,
and I'll take it from there.
Well, I'm not on the case.
Oh, you won't touch it, but I'm supposed to?
Well, you get paid to.
Well, so do you. I get paid to listen to complaints,
to evaluate them and to decide whether or not
there's grounds enough for a police action.
Okay, come on.
You mean there's nothing we can do?
No, no. We can come up with something
so LA's finest can go to work.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
ROCKY: Hey, Sonny!
Yeah, door's open.
Hey, you ain't even ready yet.
You said you was gonna help me clean out the garage today.
Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I forgot, Rocky.
Well, half the junk in it is yours.
Well, I'm gonna have to take a rain check. I'm working.
Forever Feminine?
My client wrote it.
It's a little Dear Abby, a little Norman Vincent Peale,
and a whole lot of Kama Sutra.
What is a Kama Sutra?
It's sort of a ''how to'' book.
You know, she made $2 million
just saying that the woman's place is in the home.
It is. Oh, Rocky.
Well, it is. Now, you take your mother.
You'd never catch her shinnying up no telephone pole
or going down some dirty old coal mine to work. No, sir.
Do you know they tell me that nowadays
they even got ladies pushing rigs?
Now that is something I don't never want to see in all my life.
Tell me what's wrong with talking care of a home and a family?
And sweeping and dusting and sewing and such?
Nothing. Nothing. It's just a matter of choice, Rocky.
All women don't belong in the kitchen
anymore than all women belong behind the wheel of a semi.
No women belong behind the wheel of a semi.
No, sir. And nothing you can ever say
is gonna make me think any different.
They have a phrase for that kind of macho attitude, Rocky.
Old-fashioned?
Male chauvinist.
That's right. Old-fashioned, that's what it is.
It's a matter of being proud.
And there ain't nothing wrong with that, neither.
I'll see you later, Rocky.
You ought to read that book if you get a chance.
Whoa, hey, hey!
(GRUNTING)
Let go of me.
Why, so you can take another pop at me?
I said, let go of me.
Who are you?
I'm her husband, that's who I am.
Whose husband?
Why, you dirty, rotten scum.
You mean it's not just Ann Louise?
Hey, you Bud Clement, huh?
Now, what is the matter with you?
You didn't think I'd find out about it, did you?
You stay away from my wife, Rockford.
Well, that's going to make my investigating a little difficult.
Oh, investigation? Is that what you call it?
Yeah. That's what I call it.
Well, I know about the whole thing.
She admitted the whole thing to me.
Are you gonna deny that you're her lover?
Oh yeah, I'm gonna deny it.
Well, you stay away from her, Rockford.
And I mean it. If you don't, I'm gonna kill you.
(CAR STARTING)
What's all the ruckus?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
If you don't, I'm going to kill you!
What have you been up to, Sonny?
Well, not what he thinks.
Bud threatened you because he thought we were having an affair?
Now, where would he get a ridiculous idea like that?
Well, he told me that you told him all about it.
I told him you were working for me.
Well, not anymore.
Oh, please don't say that.
You know how I'm counting on you.
Just take the money, Mrs. Clement.
No.
I'm about a hundred short on the advance you gave me.
I'll see that you get it.
Mr. Rockford.
Jim. I can see you're upset.
Can you, now?
Please, try to understand.
This isn't the first time Bud's accused me of something like this.
Well, it's the first time he's accused me.
Well, he has a temper and he's insanely jealous.
Look, I don't handle domestic cases.
This isn't a domestic case. Please.
If you won't help me, I don't have anyone.
I'm all alone.
Not quite.
I'll talk to Bud.
He won't bother you again. I promise.
If he does, you can keep the money.
All of it. And walk away from the case. I won't try to stop you.
I don't know. Oh...
It was just a little misunderstanding.
Well maybe. But I keep getting the feeling
that I'm chapter 1 7 in your new book,
The Beneficial Effect of the Other Man on Domestic Tranquility.
How can you say that?
I'm here, Mrs. Clement.
I'm gonna start on the stove. It needs cleaning real bad.
Um...
Well, I think we've run enough tests on that new cleaner, Daisy.
Why don't you just type up those notes
I left in my office, hmm?
The notes? Oh, yes, ma'am.
Thank you, dear.
Daisy's my assistant.
Much more than a secretary, really.
I'm sure she is.
Now, Jim, about the case.
Look, I don't have a lead. Except...
Some avenging feminist with a black belt in auto repair.
I can see you don't take it very seriously.
But my publisher has a whole file full of crank letters from them.
Threatening letters.
He has? Yes.
Well, why didn't you mention them sooner?
There's not much of a lead there, but there might be something.
I always thought people who wrote hate letters just let it go at that.
Well, that's not something you can depend on.
Maybe I ought to have a look at them.
All right, I'll introduce you to Lyle.
He'll give you carte blanche.
It'll take me just a minute to get ready.
Will you wait for me?
Thank so much, Lyle, for taking the time to see Mr. Rockford.
I think I can leave you two boys alone, don't you think?
You don't need me to go over those crank letters.
You know what? As long as I'm here, I'm going to run down
to the graphics department
and take a look at that dust jacket
they're doing for my new book.
All right. But remember,
I'll do anything I can to help. Oh, thank you.
Listen, maybe you ought to offer Mr. Rockford a little drink.
I don't think he really liked taking the stairs.
Are you kidding?
Hey, I loved all ten flights.
Nine was my favorite.
Walking up and down stairs is very good exercise for the heart,
to say nothing of the calf muscles.
(ANN LOUISE SCREAMING)
WOMAN OVER PA.. Nurse Simpson, report to Treatment 4.
Can we see her now, Becker?
Come on, let's keep it down.
It's supposed to be a hospital.
Where's Rockford? Over there.
Well, go get him.
Who's Rockford? He got something to do with this?
You guys have got my statement.
I'd like to know who tipped you all off.
Jim, we're ready for you.
Mr. Rockford, what's your relationship to Mrs. Clement?
Okay, later, huh?
Later on, please.
All right, all right, it's your money, spend it any way you want to.
Oh, Bud, please. It's our money.
I wish you wouldn't feel that way.
Oh, Jim, I'm sorry they kept you waiting all this time.
What are you apologizing to him for?
How you feeling? How's she feeling?
How do you think she's feeling? Look at her.
It's not that bad.
The doctor said it's a clean break.
You know, it's your fault.
I'm holding you responsible for this.
How much did you pay this ding-a-ling for protection anyway?
I'm not a bodyguard.
You can say that again.
Bud, it wasn't Mr. Rockford's fault.
Oh, ''Mr. Rockford'' now.
What happened to ''Jim''?
Mr. Clement.
What's your version of what happened?
I heard her scream. I found her on the stairway, unconscious. That's it.
And you didn't see who pushed her either?
Well, I didn't see anybody. I didn't hear anybody.
It all happened so quickly.
Whoever it was must have followed me
and been there waiting for me.
How'd they know you'd use the stairs?
It's in her book. How do you know?
I never take the elevator.
You will now.
Bud... Thanks to him.
I know you don't mean to be unfair. Please...
Unfair? You throw your money away
on this stiff with a plastic badge
and all you get is ten pounds of plaster of Paris.
He's totally incompetent, criminally negligent... Bud...
And just about to commit aggravated assault.
Oh really? Oh, all right, I'd like that.
Bud... No, no. Come on.
Come on, come on, let's keep this civilized.
Unless you want to make the late news.
I got the hallway full of reporters out there.
Oh, I forgot.
You want me to see if I can find a back way out of here?
Oh, that's very sweet of you, Sergeant,
but they've been waiting such a long time, I really should see them.
Well, I'll tell them to keep it brief.
Thank you.
And Jim? Thank you.
It really wasn't your fault, you know.
Yeah.
Do you believe that turkey?
You mean do I believe he doesn't like you? I believe that.
No, no. His attitude, Dennis.
His wife takes a header down the stairs.
Do you see any compassion, any solicitude?
Well, he's upset.
Yeah, about her bank balance, not her health.
Well maybe he figures that she didn't get her money's worth.
Well, now, don't you start on me.
You're the one that backed me into this thing.
I told her up front I don't do guard duty.
I was just going to check out those crank letters.
Okay, now I'll check them out.
No, check him out.
I'm serious, Dennis.
If anything happens to her, she's worth a lot of money.
Now, who stands to profit, huh?
Put a tail on him. I got a hunch.
I also got a hunch, Jimbo.
Falling down the stairs doesn't make headlines. But getting pushed does.
And to a woman like Ann Louise Clement,
publicity is like money in the bank.
Yeah, you could be right.
Of course I'm right.
But you could be wrong.
What are you looking at?
You.
I pulled the plugs on the extension phones.
It'll ring in the kitchen.
I won't have to listen to it and I won't have to answer it.
I'm sorry, dear. I should have arranged for Daisy to stay.
You know how I feel about live-in help.
It would only be temporary.
For a few weeks, we could sacrifice a little of our privacy.
Sure. We have so much of that.
You want one of these?
No, I just took a pain pill.
Does it hurt much?
No.
The worst of it is being so helpless.
But you do that so well.
I talked to the doctor. He said you didn't even need a wheelchair.
He told me you insisted on it.
Well, of course I did.
I though it would be easier for you
not to have me stumbling around the kitchen on crutches.
Not that you'd complain.
You never complain. I just didn't want to be a burden to you.
Stumbling around the kitchen, falling over Daisy,
our undercover maid,
who happens to have been doing all the cooking
in the past two years.
Well, you know how I fought about having a maid.
It was you who insisted.
After you stopped cooking altogether.
I mean, a guy can just eat so many turkey pot pies.
Well, actually, I'm kind of glad this happened,
I mean, what with the lectures
and the books and the demands of your business,
we never have time for just us anymore.
Honey, will you stop it, please?
I'm getting sick and tired of being set up as material
for your new book,
An Evening at Home with Bud.
Oh, Bud, you can't mean that.
When I write about your strength and your thoughtfulness...
Honey, I wish you would just stop writing altogether.
I wish you'd just leave me out of it.
How can I leave out the most important part of my life?
All right.
I know you're worried about canceling that business meeting tonight.
That'll keep.
Well, I don't mind being alone.
Alone?
You don't have to be alone.
All you've got to do is call Marge and Bill on the phone.
Ask them over here to play a little three-handed bridge, huh?
You know I have no head for cards.
Honey, come on. I used to watch you play
at the sorority, remember?
Why, you're a killer. You go for the throat.
I know guys in Vegas you'd leave weeping.
Oh, well, whatever you think is best.
You know, I'd never dream of interfering.
I won't be long.
You ought to be dead. You know that?
Now, now, Marty.
Taking a fall like that...
I didn't fall, I was pushed.
Well, you could've broken more than your leg.
You could have been killed.
I mean, it was bad enough having me fire those blanks
in front of the hotel.
But to throw yourself down a flight of stairs?
Well, maybe I did go too far,
but you know, I was really just taking a leaf from your book.
You know I've always admired you.
Your flair for business.
How you handle yourself in situations,
the way you assert yourself.
Well, this has got to end.
I mean, I can't take much more.
The police questioned me today. Did you know that?
Mmm-hmm.
You knew that.
What? You gave them my name?
They questioned everyone I'm associated with.
You gave them my name? That's terrific.
I don't have enough to worry.
Now, I've got the cops to worry about.
You just worry about your ten percent, Marty.
Now, what did you do about that lecture tour?
I cancelled.
I told you to postpone, not cancel.
That's what I meant.
Listen, I don't think it's a good idea
to drop completely from sight.
Maybe a few television appearances.
Maybe the Carson show.
And do it soon, will you, hmm?
I want to do it while I'm still in the wheelchair.
A walking cast is too clumsy.
You're really incredible, you know that?
I mean, you never stop, do you?
Hmm? What?
Okay, okay, I'll check with the Carson people tomorrow,
let you know what they say.
Oh, Marty? Before you go,
if you wouldn't mind,
I was working on some revisions yesterday.
Where are they?
In my office on the desk.
You can't miss them.
Thanks.
(GUN FIRING)
(GASPS)
Marty!
(SCREAMING)
Hey, hold it, pal. Hold it. Wait, wanna talk to you.
Hey, we the first ones here?
No. Actually I got here about 1 2:00 last night.
Have you talked to anyone yet today?
Look, I haven't been up too long.
How about a simple, declarative statement
telling me who you are?
Bob Zinberg, LA News.
You're the P.I. working for this Ann Louise Clement, right?
I didn't see anything.
I didn't hear anything and I don't know what happened on the stairway.
That's not why we're here.
Then what? We want a statement from you
on the murder of Marty Bach.
Who's Marty Bach?
That's a quote. Go ahead, Lou.
Beautiful. Come on. Thanks, pal.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey.
Hey, who's Marty Bach?
She was more than my agent.
She was my close, personal friend.
My husband and I were both terribly, terribly fond of Marty.
I valued her friendship as much as her advice.
I have no head for business.
I don't want to tell you what it's like
when I tried to balance our checking account.
Poor Bud, he had a terrible time
trying to straighten it all out.
Anyway, whoever it was
who killed Marty saw her sitting at my desk
and thought it was me, and...
Mrs. Clement, do you have any idea who it might have been?
No.
Now, I understand there were prior threats on your life.
Were any precautions taken? Was anything done to insure your safety?
Yes, I had hired a private investigator,
James Rockford.
Was Mr. Rockford present at the time of the killing?
Who knows where he was? He was hired as a bodyguard
and certainly wasn't around here protecting her.
Well, where were you when all this was going on, Mr. Clement?
You'd just brought your wife home from the hospital.
Yes, thank you.
I had to go to a very important business meeting.
I was fool enough to think that this Rockford
was going to be keeping an eye on her.
That's what he was paid to do.
My husband is all the protection I need or want.
Turn it off.
Anyway, I could never have made it through this ordeal without him.
WOMAN.. Mrs. Clement?
Cal Kramer, Tempo News.
I said turn it off.
That solves everything, doesn't it?
He's married, he's going to stay married.
You have no right to say that.
You're my kid sister. Who's got a better right?
Jan, you're not seeing this thing the way it really is.
I have to get to the office.
So he can tell you how much he loves you?
Or how much he loves his wife's money?
Jack, please.
When I moved back here from Lauderdale,
I couldn't believe you'd gotten mixed up in something like this.
Jan, you always had the pride in this family.
Do you think I want it to be this way?
It happened.
Bud and I didn't set out to...
I should have never told you about us.
We never had any secrets, remember?
We always shared.
Don't worry, Jack.
Somehow it'll be all right.
So long as you don't end up on the short side.
That, I wouldn't like.
ROCKFORD: ''Noted author's agent slain.''
''Malibu detective draws criticism.''
Jim, in all fairness, I have no control over the media.
Well, you have control over your mouth.
Between this article and your television interview,
I'm just about cooked professionally.
My reputation is shot. Here, look at this.
'''Who's Marty Bach?' queries dumbfounded investigator.''
Who is Marty Bach?
I'll write you a check.
For what? A down payment on a hardware store?
Why are we having this conversation?
Somebody tried to kill me last night.
Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?
Knowing that somebody hates me enough they want me dead?
They killed Marty, but it was me they were after.
I couldn't think of anything else last night.
I took a sleeping pill,
it didn't do a thing for me. I couldn't turn off my mind.
That's a strange reaction.
Strange? What's so strange about it?
Well, somebody shot at you at the hotel, you bounced right back.
Then somebody pushes you down the stairs,
you were just as perky and saucy as ever.
Now, all of a sudden, you start to unravel.
Well, I suppose it's a cumulative effect.
Let's suppose it's something else, Ann Louise, huh?
I've been giving it a little thought.
Let's try it out on you.
Let's just suppose that you thought Bud was slipping away from you,
and that's bad for business. I don't understand.
So you tried a little shock therapy.
All these phony attempts on your life
were supposed to create sympathy.
Well, it didn't work.
So, you tried jealousy.
You hire me and tell Bud
that you were having an affair with me.
Well, you played some nasty games, lady,
and $200 a day doesn't put me into one of your team shirts.
Jim, you don't know what I've been through.
I don't particularly care.
You're trying to save your career.
So am I.
I'm trying to save my marriage.
In your case, it boils down to about the same thing, doesn't it?
Oh, Jim, please try to understand.
Bud's a very sensitive man.
A very proud man.
If he knew I'd confided in you, it would destroy him.
But I know I can trust your discretion and your kindness.
Shortly after my book was published,
Bud developed this physical problem.
It was nothing personal. It had nothing to do with me.
He didn't lose interest or anything like that.
It's just that he couldn't...
What are you trying to say? He was impotent?
You men are so frank.
I really envy that.
Oh, no. But anyway, I do know a little bit about the male ego.
And I know that what happened to Bud
was very, very traumatic for him.
Who helped you set up these attempts on your life, huh?
Marty?
Hey, come on! Your game went south on you, lady.
You set the whole thing in motion and somebody's capitalized on it.
But who'd want to see me dead?
Who stands to inherit?
You can't be serious. Bud?
He's the last person in the world.
He's welcome to the money. He knows that.
Oh, it's not as though there's another woman.
Oh, will you cut that out? What?
Well, who are you lying to now? Yourself?
Mr. Rockford, I think I know my husband a little better than you do.
I suppose the next thing you're going to tell me
is that all those games you've been playing
had nothing to do with Jan Avery.
Jan?
My husband's secretary?
Oh come on, lady.
A human being has been killed.
We don't have time for all this.
No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
What were you going to say about Jan?
You know what's wrong with the way you try to work it, huh?
You've got this lying thing down so good,
it really is hard to tell when you're being straight with me
and when you're not.
Are you suggesting that Jan Avery and Bud are having an affair?
Because it's not true.
I mean, we may have had our problems,
but there's never been another woman in Bud's life.
Well, there's one less in yours.
Marty Bach.
I was. Just like I said, I had a business appointment last night.
Mr. Clement, you were observed entering a residence
at 1370 Kings Road.
Oh, that's just great.
You've put a cop on me and you have nobody watching my wife?
Can you explain that?
We did not have a police officer on you, Mr. Clement.
I said you were observed. It was just a report.
Don't tell me, let me guess.
Rockford, right? He was watching me.
The source of the report is incidental.
You stated you had a business meeting.
I did.
Let me see, the residence is occupied by a Miss...
Jan Avery.
She happens to be my secretary.
We were working on cost analysis.
At her home? Not your office?
That is a nasty insinuation and I resent it.
Look, I don't know what business it is of the LAPD,
but Miss Avery and I happen to work at her home a great deal.
It's very convenient for both of us.
I'm not about to invite her down to this neighborhood
to work late at night. It is not safe.
Your neighborhood was not safe last night, Mr. Clement.
All right, that's it, Sergeant.
If the police have any further questions to ask me,
they can reach me through my attorney.
Is that clear?
Thank you for your cooperation.
We'll be in touch, Mr. Clement.
(DOOR OPENING)
What did he want, Bud?
Same old questions.
Honey, you know what I've been thinking?
Remember that Caribbean cruise we've been talking about taking?
I think it's time.
After what happened last night?
We can't leave town.
I know, honey, that I can't, but...
You want me to leave?
Now, just till things cool down, that's all.
A few weeks, a couple of months...
Months? Well, I'll meet you.
Don't you see? The police know that I went to your place last night.
It was that damned private investigator following me, watching.
I told them it was business but I think he saw me use the key.
I think he saw everything.
Won't it look worse if I suddenly go off island hopping?
Honey, they can't prove anything.
Do you see, that's not what worries me.
What if Ann Louise finds out about us?
She'll walk away with all that money.
Come on, be patient, huh?
Come on, it's gonna work out. Don't you see?
I can handle Ann Louise.
It's just this Rockford that keeps messing things up.
Can you handle him?
Sure, I can handle Rockford.
You sure you got enough room?
Oh yeah, thanks, Sam.
Hey, you want to build me another one,
and go easy on the lettuce this time, will you?
If I decide to rent out office space, you'll be the first to know.
You using a different kind of sauce?
We got complaints. It was too hot.
Come on, Sam, I'll tell you when it's too hot.
(GUN FIRING)
Can't even eat lunch anymore
without someone making a target out of you.
Who pays the damages? That's what I want to know.
What did Clement have to say about last night?
Well, the place belongs to his secretary.
He says that they were working.
SAM: This sort of thing happens all the time.
Nobody's safe, nobody takes responsibility.
When he left his place last night, he was carrying a briefcase.
When he got over to her place, he didn't take it in with him.
SAM: I'm out a bottle of hot sauce, some of my best china.
Now, who's gonna pay?
Knock it off, Sam. Put it on my tab.
That's like saying forget it.
Okay then, forget it.
Hey, look, Dennis, it didn't make any sense to me last night,
but it does make sense now.
The guy I saw leaving her place last night after Clement arrived,
maybe he's the shooter.
You know, maybe Clement hired him to take care of Ann Louise.
And when I saw them together,
he figured he had to take care of me, too.
Maybe. We'll look into it.
Well, don't look into it. Ask him about it.
Hey, don't tell me how to do my job.
The department's under a lot of heat.
You're not the only one who made the headlines.
Paragraph one, ''Police Department fails to act on threats.''
If bad press could put the cops out of business,
you'd have folded a long time ago.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
I could send a memo to the Lieutenant.
It would ease his mind.
Are you going to question Clement or not?
Yes, I'm going to question him.
When I'm darned sure he can't charge me with harassment.
I won't forget this, Rockford.
Oh, here. Sam, here.
You know you ought to be paying me.
You're going to get your picture in the paper.
It's really gonna be good for business.
Whatever's left over, just keep it as a tip.
May I help you?
I have an appointment with Mr. Clement.
Tell him I'm here.
He's not here.
I have an appointment.
I'm sorry, there's nothing on Jan's calendar.
My appointment isn't with Jan, it's with Mr. Clement.
Mr. Pei made the arrangements personally before he left for Chicago.
I.M. Pei?
The I.M. Pei?
The man who designed the Kennedy Library?
I don't want to be unpleasant, I know this isn't your fault,
but if Mr. Clement is so cavalier in his business dealings...
Oh, but he got a phone call.
Some problem with the site over at 8840.
Please, let me try to get in touch with him.
Well, Mr. Pei's jet is warming up on the runway, and you want me to wait?
I'm sure it'll only take a few minutes.
You can wait in Mr. Clement's office.
It's very comfortable.
Just a few minutes.
Could I get you some coffee?
Just get me Mr. Clement.
Yes, this is Gloria at the office.
When Mr. Clement gets there, tell him to check with me.
It's very important.
He did? But...
Never mind. I've been off on a wild goose chase,
for crying out loud.
GLORlA: I was just trying to call you.
There's no trouble over at 8840.
I had the wrong specifications.
I stop on the way over, phoned them to see if they had a copy.
They didn't even know I was coming.
I'm going to get somebody else in here that can take a message.
Mr. Clement, I...
I was trying to tell you your appointment is here.
Oh, I forgot to get his name.
I know his name.
I thought I heard you come in.
So, you're the one that finessed me out of here, aren't you?
Why?
So you could search my office?
I tried,
but, you know, I've got to tell you the truth.
You really didn't give me too much time.
Well that's great, pal. Because nothing would give me a greater pleasure
than to put you in jail.
Get me the police.
Fine. See if you can arrange for adjoining cells.
Just tell me, what's that supposed to mean?
Murder one.
Marty Bach may have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time,
but she's dead.
All right, what has that got to do with me?
You set it up, Bud.
I followed you to your secretary's place last night.
I saw the hired muscle leave.
If I'd known what he was up to, I would've followed him.
Hired muscle?
That was Jack Avery, Jan's brother.
Sometimes it's better to keep it in the family.
Especially when there's a lot of money involved.
Are you crazy or something?
I mean, me hire someone to kill my own wife?
We've been married 15 years.
15 years ago she didn't have $2 million.
And you weren't getting along.
She told you that?
All right, we've got a problem in our marriage.
We've had one ever since she started writing that lousy book.
I'm not her husband anymore. Now I'm research.
She looks at me like she was looking at a bug stuck on a pin.
She watches and then she writes everything down.
I pat her on the behind, and 40 million idiots read about it.
''Let's see what happens if Bud comes home from the office
''and I greet him with nothing on except a smile.
''Let's just see what happens, shall we?
''And then let's tell the world about it.''
You're saying you had nothing to do with the murder?
I'm saying I've had enough of that big mouth of yours.
If there would be anybody I wanted to kill, it'd be you, Rockford.
You've already tried that. You and the company you're keeping.
You just say one word about Jan...
Money. I think that's the word.
If anything should happen to Ann Louise,
you would end up with Jan.
Jan would end up with you.
You think brother Jack wouldn't be willing to help little sister out
on a sweet deal like that?
You threw him out?
You better believe I booted him out.
Honey, I don't think you'd better be leaving town.
God only knows who he's been talking to.
First of all, he says I'm the one that tried to kill Ann Louise
and then he said it was you and Jack.
Nobody would believe that, would they, Bud?
I don't know. Anyone with a mouth that active is bound to find an ear somewhere.
Nobody would be able to prove it, that's all.
I just wish that he would keep his mouth shut.
I don't know how Jack's going to take this.
Maybe I shouldn't mention it to him.
No, go ahead and tell him.
At least he'll be prepared.
Rockford's got him swinging into town from Lauderdale
with his target pistols, shooting everybody right and left.
It's a real mess, isn't it?
You know, I think he's paranoid.
You know, I mean, I think he's got a persecution complex.
You know what he told me before I booted him out?
That he thought that somebody was out to try and hack at him.
And he really believed it.
What are we going to do, Bud?
I don't know.
Did I tell you I followed him?
Yeah, he went right to his trailer, where he lives,
packed up all his bags, drove out to the valley.
Some little tract house out there.
I think it was one of his relatives'.
The name on the mailbox was Joseph Rockford.
As if he was gonna be safe there.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Who is it?
I'm Jack Avery.
I think we better talk.
How did you know I was here?
You going to open up?
I know you're going to think this is rude,
but I don't think so.
I though you wanted to talk.
Well, talking's mostly a waste of time
and a real trouble maker.
You ought to know that.
Oh.
Bud told you about our little conversation this afternoon.
Bud told Jan. Jan told me.
Then you two did set this whole thing up?
Come on, you've seen my sister.
She's a born victim.
Don't get me wrong, I love her.
She just never learned how to make the most of a situation.
Maybe she's smart.
On the other hand, Jack, I get the feeling you're dumb.
When this is all over, Bud's going to end up with the money,
Jan's going to end up with him,
and I'm going to end up with as much as I want of a nice piece of change.
Jan and me, we've always shared.
Yeah, I told Bud my theory about you in all this.
And I also told Sergeant Becker of the police department.
So if you pull that trigger, they can trace it right to you.
Did l say anything about shooting you?
You're going to take a nasty fall down the cellar stairs
and break your neck.
Nobody'd believe that.
I'm known for my grace.
Now, the gun's beginning to make me nervous. You want to give it to me?
Hold it right there. I said hold it.
You're not going to shoot anybody, Jack.
(CLlCKING)
Don't panic, maybe it's still under warranty.
Now you hold it.
What are you doing here? You set me up.
No, I didn't set you up. He's the one that set you up.
I was in on it, but all I did
was file down the firing pin on your gun, that's all.
You see, he told me that you were the one who tried to kill Ann Louise.
I didn't believe him.
But you did try and kill her.
(GUN FIRING)
Right in my TV dinner.
I'm sure you understand that under the circumstances,
there's really very little I can say.
Mr. Avery, as you know, is under arrest
for the murder of Marty Bach, and for the attempts on my life.
As strongly as I feel about Marty's tragic death,
Mr. Avery does deserve a fair and unprejudiced hearing.
REPORTER: According to Mr. Avery, your husband and his sister,
Jan, were involved in an illicit relationship.
Would you like to comment on that?
I most certainly would.
It's very tragic, but Mr. Avery, by his behavior,
has demonstrated himself to be a sociopath.
And any statement he makes must be considered accordingly.
Jan Avery is my husband's secretary.
She's a lovely girl, absolutely irreplaceable.
I feel very sorry for her, with her brother most certainly going to prison.
My husband and I are both deeply and genuinely fond of her.
Then the reports of trouble in your marriage are erroneous?
Bud and I have never been closer.
Tragedy has a way of drawing people together, you know.
In fact, I intend to deal fully with that in my new book.
One thing more.
A distinguished private investigator, Mr. James Rockford...
Rockford has been working on my behalf
and he's come in for some unfortunate and certainly unwarranted criticism.
I'd like to set the record straight.
It was Mr. Rockford who brought Jack Avery to justice
through his daring and expertise.
You and Mr. Clement were the ones who criticized him.
We only quoted you.
Yeah, you will quote her this time, now, won't you?
Particularly the part about daring and expertise.
That ought to look terrific in print.
Thank you, Mrs. Clement. It's a wrap, fellas.
Thank you.
Thank you all. Bye.
Well, that went rather well, I think.
My new book's going to be published in about six weeks,
and all this publicity should boost sales.
It's a shame Marty won't be around for ten percent of the action.
I'm dedicating the book to her.
That ought to boost sales, too.
There are a lot of revisions to be made, though.
I have to include everything that's happened,
people would naturally expect it.
How Bud and I were drawn together
during this trying time, and his patience and understanding.
Darling?
I called Daisy on the phone.
She's on her way over here to help you.
But don't worry, she's going to put everything in the briefcase.
Nobody will know she does windows.
But where are you going?
I'm not really sure.
Well, is it a business trip?
I mean, I don't understand.
I know.
He can't just walk out on me like that.
Doesn't he know what that'll do to sales?
I don't think he cares, Ann Louise.
Well, what about us? What about our marriage?
You don't just walk away from 15 years.
What am I supposed to do?
Rewrite the last chapter.